Curse Line

Boop-beep-beep-beep-boop-boop-beep-beep-boop-bop-boop.
Thank you for calling the Curse Line for English press "1". Para espanol presione el número "2".
Boop.
Thanks for calling the Curse Line. Your call is very important to us. Please hold for the next available operator.
(muzak - Girl from Ipanema)
Thanks for holding. How may I help you?
Yeah. I hit my thumb with a very large hammer. I'd like to order a curse, please.
Okay. One moment please. (fingering on a keyboard. Heavy breathing) Hit your thumb with a hammer, yes?
Yes.
You can say "Ah, S@#T!"
Mmm. No.
For an extra $1.95 plus tax, I can give you bigger one.
Okay.
Say "Son of B@#$%H!"
That might work.
Good luck. And thank you for calling the Curse Line. Is there anything else I can get for you.
No, that'll do.
Thank you. Good bye.