The Birth of an Epiphany

"Odd, how it all came to this."
Try this. Ask yourself how you arrived at this point in your life - that's right, take out a piece of paper and pencil and sit - I dare you. Write it all out backwards, starting with the moment that you are living in right now and then yesterday and then the day before and so on, or if you would like to know how you arrived at this place in your life, which is a far more reflective means to this exercise and perhaps more instructive, you will most certainly discover some memories that are truly worthy of the commode; as well, you will assuredly find true moments of grace and Lord knows what else.

I sat with some friends at my daughter's first birthday, one of whom is very pregnant, and my wife and I were marveling at the fact that she, her husband, and her two year-old were able to come, and yes they did get an invitation. My wife reflected on how beautiful she looked. Baring all that weight, having to wobble awkwardly instead of walking, all seemed a little uncomfortable; I was sure that the beautiful white-toothed smile she had on her face was really her just crunching her teeth together in pain.*
I silently wondered how it had all come to this. Of course the understanding (physically) is that two people continued to love one another, in the latter case enduring the pregnancy and subsequent birth of a second child, but the question is how and not the how to.
In our case - meaning my family including my wife and currently enfevered daughter. I can not say that there is a direct line, at least one that I can see, because quite frankly, in my minds eye, I had taken more detours than a downtown construction zone. But in the Divine eye, who is to say but the beholder, in which case what difference does it make, suffice it to say that we are all brought into our current episode (if you will), with a very tangible past.
... and for those who do not believe in a Divine Truth, revealer, redeemer, God - you do not know my daughter's story, nor do you recognize my own.
In truth, I lived a racy, reckless, playboy lifestyle. My experiences in WVU, Japan, Pittsburgh, and NYC were in some circumstances tasteless and bawdy and in all cases quite edgy. It was during this time, particularly while enjoying some fame and recognition, not to mention a lot of money for a punk, particularly in Japan, that my ego had grown in a size that would leave Godzilla grasping for breath, and after playing what I had considered to be a "Token Gaijin", I left for Los Angeles to pursue action, and left shortly after to hang out in NYC, because if one can make it there one can make it anywhere. As it turned out, I managed to get a few great stage gigs off-Broadway - for all know it was off-off-off-off Broadway. At one point in time I recall being confused for late night talkshow host Conan O'Brien by a passing bicycle messenger, who wrecked and walked bleeding back to me only to sadly discover that I was indeed not the person he was hoping for. Things got a little crazy, and I lost track of why I had gone to that Big Apple, and shortly after 9-11, as the firefighters who perished in my neighborhood were announced to be gone forever, I guess my brain and my heart left with them, because I did not give a damn about my purpose and a few years later, defeated, I left - for home.
...to be continued.

*a bouncing baby boy!