Cliches are not my cup of tea, but there is one that has been routinely been brought to my attention and not by anyone other than myself; Everyone has the same 24 hours by which to live.
You can't help but grasp the obvious truth of this statement right away. Heck, you and I share the same moon - how about that?
Lately, I have been on a mission to bitch and moan to everyone my situation of needing a vacation, more time to write, more time to exercise, to ride my motorcycle, to hang out with my wife, to play with my daughter, to sleep in, to cut the arfing grass, only after scraping up dog waste, to plant the garden for some fresh vegetables and fruits, to read the Bible - and the list continues. I hit upon all of these things, but in sporadic spoonfuls, whenever I can. And in this, my owner/operator/manager side at the cafe has suffered; I am just plain ol' burned out and that's dangerous because the cafe, and to my surprise not my writing or acting capabilities is what is paying the bills -keeping food on the table.
It's hard. It's not cancer hard. And I am truly blessed.
I should be content, and I am not. I do not understand contentment. The actual term I get, but what am I to do with my ambitions, or for that matter my garage, which is straight out of the scene of a disaster film.
Am I to be satisfied with my lot? Should I be out there just selfishly stealing more time from what is truly important? And for that matter how do I know what is truly important? I have priorities, and bothering with the details is nuts, and they do not not grant me an income (yet).
Our daughter is three; three is the most important dad year for her, and then there are those ambitions. They are curses. Ambitions are curses.
"I aspire to be a (whatever)." does not equal "I want to aspire to be a (unattainable and very retarded goal that would be detrimental to every relationship I have ever had, and I will pay dearly should you ever attempt, so I should stop and just go back to work, loser.)
Yeah, I talk to myself like this alot. It's funny, but I would never talk to anyone like this, even if it were true, then again I am my own worst enemy.
The truth is this - I lack focus.
Snipers have some serious focus, but have them run from spot to spot, and then shell them, and drop them off in a territory that they do not know at all, and remove all communication, clothing, and give them a lens that has been scratched, and I believe that they would have a hell of a time focusing. Now, I am no sniper, and I am not trying overcome world wide catastrophes, but man I need some friggin' focus. You can tell who has it - confidence, clarity about the goal - I want that.
My lowly income would be worth it, if I could get a little bit. I could earn a little more, but I am just so fragmented and disorganized.
Help!
You can't help but grasp the obvious truth of this statement right away. Heck, you and I share the same moon - how about that?
Lately, I have been on a mission to bitch and moan to everyone my situation of needing a vacation, more time to write, more time to exercise, to ride my motorcycle, to hang out with my wife, to play with my daughter, to sleep in, to cut the arfing grass, only after scraping up dog waste, to plant the garden for some fresh vegetables and fruits, to read the Bible - and the list continues. I hit upon all of these things, but in sporadic spoonfuls, whenever I can. And in this, my owner/operator/manager side at the cafe has suffered; I am just plain ol' burned out and that's dangerous because the cafe, and to my surprise not my writing or acting capabilities is what is paying the bills -keeping food on the table.
It's hard. It's not cancer hard. And I am truly blessed.
I should be content, and I am not. I do not understand contentment. The actual term I get, but what am I to do with my ambitions, or for that matter my garage, which is straight out of the scene of a disaster film.
Am I to be satisfied with my lot? Should I be out there just selfishly stealing more time from what is truly important? And for that matter how do I know what is truly important? I have priorities, and bothering with the details is nuts, and they do not not grant me an income (yet).
Our daughter is three; three is the most important dad year for her, and then there are those ambitions. They are curses. Ambitions are curses.
"I aspire to be a (whatever)." does not equal "I want to aspire to be a (unattainable and very retarded goal that would be detrimental to every relationship I have ever had, and I will pay dearly should you ever attempt, so I should stop and just go back to work, loser.)
Yeah, I talk to myself like this alot. It's funny, but I would never talk to anyone like this, even if it were true, then again I am my own worst enemy.
The truth is this - I lack focus.
Snipers have some serious focus, but have them run from spot to spot, and then shell them, and drop them off in a territory that they do not know at all, and remove all communication, clothing, and give them a lens that has been scratched, and I believe that they would have a hell of a time focusing. Now, I am no sniper, and I am not trying overcome world wide catastrophes, but man I need some friggin' focus. You can tell who has it - confidence, clarity about the goal - I want that.
My lowly income would be worth it, if I could get a little bit. I could earn a little more, but I am just so fragmented and disorganized.
Help!
